UnderTheGun
Welcome at UnderTheGun Forum!

Please login or register to reveal the chatbox and passwordsection.

Have a great time at UTG Forum!


We are counting to 5000 members. 3956 members joined so far ! Please login or register to reveal the chatbox and passwordsection.
 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  
Like and twitter us !
HaHaPoker Blog
Time Zones
Latest topics
» happy birthday ren :)
Wed Feb 01, 2017 9:38 am by renobazaa

» HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZZZLEEPY X
Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:31 am by zzzzleep

» Enjoy Christmas
Thu Dec 22, 2016 12:06 am by tink44

» Ladbrokes VIP *+ weekly €250 - 20:00BST
Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:29 am by eurkster33

» HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWEEK
Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:03 am by Guest

» 32REDPOKER /TRIOBET MPNTP TWITTER FREEROLL02/06/16
Thu Jun 02, 2016 3:04 am by tink44

» Super Weekend Tallin tourney €500 buyin 2nd
Sat May 14, 2016 7:44 pm by tink44

» POKERSTARS EPTLIVE FREEROLL 06/05/2016
Fri May 06, 2016 6:01 am by tink44

» LADBROKES POKER SOCIAL SERIES 08/05/2016
Fri May 06, 2016 4:13 am by tink44

Social bookmarking
Social bookmarking Digg  Social bookmarking Delicious  Social bookmarking Reddit  Social bookmarking Stumbleupon  Social bookmarking Slashdot  Social bookmarking Yahoo  Social bookmarking Google  Social bookmarking Blinklist  Social bookmarking Blogmarks  Social bookmarking Technorati  

Bookmark and share the address of UnderTheGun on your social bookmarking website

Bookmark and share the address of UnderTheGun on your social bookmarking website
Flag
winter

Share | 
 

 RETIRED HUSBAND

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
rocksr8drs
Junior Member
Junior Member


Aantal berichten : 34
Punten : 75
Join date * : 2011-02-13

PostSubject: RETIRED HUSBAND   Sat Jun 02, 2012 5:25 am

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred

to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of
you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras:


1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
' Mission Impossible'
theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using
different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the
fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.
Back to top Go down
 
RETIRED HUSBAND
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Vision's Random Thread of Stumbling
» romney retired retroactively from bain?
» I am ''retired'' from fusion fall
» Dr. W.D. Gaster [Retired unless I can find a place for him]

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
UnderTheGun :: CHIT - CHAT :: FUN with UNDERTHEGUN-
Jump to: